Growing Petunias

I’ve been growing petunias.

White, purple, pink, red. Right now I’m in the process of hardening them out, getting them ready to live outside for the spring and summer. It’s slow. A couple hours here and there. Some wind, some sun, then I move each of the 33 containers back inside. Repeat. They don’t love it at first, but they adjust.

Petunias are known for being resilient. They bounce back quickly from rough conditions. That’s what they’re supposed to symbolize: strength, endurance, the ability to take a hit and keep growing. Apparently, they used to symbolize anger too. I’m not really sure why. It doesn’t feel like that when you’re taking care of them. If anything, it feels like the opposite.

More recent meanings say they represent comfort. A kind of ease. Something simple. Easy to be around. And that’s the part that stuck with me. In relationships, they can symbolize just wanting someone’s company. Not obsession. Not intensity. Just wanting to be around them. That feels more real than anything else.

I think I used to believe love had to be intense. Something overwhelming. Something that proved itself by how much it took out of you. But I don’t think that’s what I want anymore. I don’t want something that burns hot and disappears just as fast. I want something simple.

I want to be around you. I want to feel calm when I’m with you, present. Not performing, not chasing, not trying to prove anything. Just there.

Maybe that’s what I’m learning from them. Not everything meaningful has to be intense. Some things are better when they’re steady.